(Headaches still continue, but seem to be a bit better with extreme hydration and drinking more water when I get up in the middle of the night. We will see!)

I am now at 19 weeks, which is remarkably close to the halfway point of pregnancy. For some reason, things have been seeming more real to me this week, as I realize that there is a limited time in this pregnancy and as I have been feeling the baby move more.

And so I had a wee freak out.

I am going to blame it on watching too many Mad Men episodes in anticipation of the new season starting up. If there is one thing that you can take away from Mad Men, it is that Don and Betty are crappy parents. Really. They are pretty incapable of doing the basic things that these kids need, have very little sense that their children are people with emotions, frequently make decisions based on pettiness, and really, probably shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. 

For some reason, combined an article on Practical Wedding about this person’s spouse who she thought would just play with the kids when he felt like it, the idea that we are actually having a child and that decision is pretty irreversible was temporarily terrifying. Because sometimes I could be petty! Sometimes I stay at work too long and am inconsiderate! On the “excit-o-meter” of parenting, I’m a bit higher than the fella and what if that means that he broods in resentment! I would be kind of a slob without him, and now there will be more of us making a mess! Panic!

And so we had a talk, where it became clear that we are not Betty and Don Draper. And that we show up when we say we will, and care about people’s emotions. And that we are a team, and will figure out how we tackle things together. And that this is a good thing. And I felt better.

And then this morning, I had slept in due to pregnancy-fatigue. When I got up, I found out how the fella had been training our dog along with the stroller this morning, which struck me as a remarkably sweet thing. I’m feeling pretty lucky to be able to be on a team with him. 

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