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photo credit: caribb via photopin cc

After the first year or so at my first job, I had applied to a fellowship and gotten up to in person interviews. And, you know like you do, I started imagining in detail what my life would look with it–where my apartment would be, how my then-boyfriend would travel back and forth, the opportunities in the position and exploring a new city–full out 3-D image of what my life would look like. And I didn’t get it. 

What I’m really glad about, is that I had continued to do things to invest in my current job. As I think back on it, each year I was there, some opportunity had come up to leave. And if I had stopped creating new projects while I daydreamed about other possibilities–well I really would have wasted my time there. I’m really glad for the work that I did and all that I learned, and a lot of that was from making sure that my time there was worth it. All this leads me to agree with Ms. Sandberg, to not allow imaginings of a future to keep you from investing in your present.

Which brings me to summer vacation. 

At this point, I love my job and would absolutely be returning to it after any maternity leave. So apparently my odd “counting by nines” questions comes up over making plans for this summer

One of the things I love about my life as I know it is enjoying time with my partner. He’s pretty swell. And it feels like because we know that it won’t just be us forever, that we should be enjoying this stage of life for what it is. We went on a big trip last summer, which was a great experience for us both–exploring a new country and experiences together. And now I’m looking at that June-August period of opportunity before us, and trying to decide what to do.

Because here’s the thing–if I’m not painfully pregnant–this is a time we should be relishing. The fella would love to go to England and Ireland–I think mostly to spend time in pubs across the world ;-). This is time we should cherish and enjoy for the stage of life that we are in!

But as any person who is currently counting months by nines, the way I am, that would be very early September. Which means being very pregnant for a very long trip. There’s questions about travel restrictions and if I did get pregnant soon, if they would let me on the plane! Even, let’s say I get pregnant six months from now, thinking having morning sickness when faced with exhausting travel really doesn’t sound pleasant. And in the most practical sense of the word–if we are going to go travel through pubs across the UK– well wouldn’t it be more fun not to be pregnant? The answer is yes.

I’m in such a quandary. Because if we want to make a big trip, we need to start planning and saving now. And it’s really possible I wouldn’t be pregnant… like really. And don’t I say that we should relish our life as we know it as it’s here? Yes self, I do. But because it’s also possible I could be pregnant, and that’s a possibility dear to my heart, I have trouble even imagining plans like it isn’t.

So friends, thoughts on summer vacation plans? How do you make choices in the near term with possibility floating through your life?

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